- Me: You heard Sandra Bullock adopted a Black baby from New Orleans right...
- Rena: Shut up she went and got one of Weezies kids?!
…ever needed an epic outfit that you couldn’t find? I have NO clue what to do and I have a photo shoot in like a few weeks. The worst part is, this is for the promotion of the very 1st song we’re trying to push lol… I thought I had direction on my look but I love so many things that I don’t know how to narrow it down. Then on top of it all I hate shopping… yep I said it, I hate to shop (Will has been witness to me running out of stores). If I had a stylist bringing me clothes every day that would be a different story but it’s just too many choices out there lol… Pretty sad and I’m sure I’m losing my girl points. I need help, sigh, I guess I’ll get back to my search but this is majorly whomping.
It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I’m really excited with where I feel like life is going. The weird thing is that while personal/professional goals are starting to be met, I’m still struggling with things from my past more now than ever. It’s like things that didn’t bother me for a while (or that I put to the side) are now coming back up when I have the most work to do. Needless to say, I pray a lot and yoga helps me clear my mind but I can’t help but to wonder why things are starting to come back to me. It won’t keep me from my dreams, I’m sure, but it’s tough. I’m not the only person that’s had to overcome personal struggles while fighting for their love so I don’t feel alone in that way. I do, however, feel alone sometimes. I’m not sure if I make it that way or if that’s just the way that the cards are dealt but it’s interesting when I’m on such a big journey. I don’t think people really understand the emotional strain musicians go through. It’s like being in corporate America times 10 lol… I know, because I’ve been there done that. It’s a very bumpy ride starting off… but there’s something inside of me telling me to fight and to keep pressing on. I know it’s probably a little corny but I feel like I can conquer the world lol. I’m also glad to have loving people in my corner that keep me feeling that way too. Will, the manager, can be rough to deal with (lol j/k Willie) but he undoubtedly has my back and is one of the most dedicated people I have ever met in my life. Even if I don’t feel like we’re gonna make it- he does and he reminds me… Everyone that he has introduced me to, so far, has been a warm spirit. They appreciate the work I’m doing and are ready to make a difference in the world. They have all helped me grow so much and I think that’s why I’m continuously able to artistically spread my wings. People that thought they knew me before or going to have a surprise coming their way. I’m definitely opening up more through my art. I think it’s the only way I truly communicate who I am these days. I don’t really talk to anyone about my personal issues or what I’m feeling- I write it and sing it like it’s my last day to live. I have an overwhelming amount of passion for music. I’m not doing this to be famous. When I was 16 or 18 maybe that would have been a thought but I’m doing this because it makes me feel alive. If my pen could never touch my left hand, I wouldn’t be complete. So, since I recognize that God has given me a gift and important things to say, I’m motivated and appreciative of the artistically complicated life I live. I’m so cool with it.
(My buddy and meeeee :) lol… William Tyler & I)
PS. Feel free to share your thoughts and tell me about your journey.
So guys I was actually recording today- with my Texas allergies and all lol. Yesterday I also did a session to get some kinks worked out on an arrangement for my album that I’m extra excited about. The song I did today is one of my favorites right now. I’m a huge fan of R&B and I’ve been doing pop/alternative/R&B for my personal project but today… OMG I got to do the whole sensual, two-stepping kind of joint. I’ll tell you how much I love this song… I’ve been jamming it 2hrs since I left the studio (partially so I can make sure I have all of the parts ready for tomorrow for completion) lol. It’s weird because I know the song isn’t for me (because I want to sell it) but I’m really anticipating the day I hear it on a album. I’ll tell you guys how that journey goes :)
(Engineer, Marcus Richard, and I brainstorming on mixes)