The Search for Ms. Wright

This is a question I ask myself on a regular basis… who am I? I know this post might seem random but I was watching a reality show (that shall go unnamed) and one of the main guys on the show seemed to be having a very public identity crisis. He had these multiple personas that he obviously didn’t know how to balance. Now don’t get me wrong, we all have different layers to our personalities but in real life most of us don’t have enough money and power to let our egos run rampant. So this made me think about who it is that people see when they look at me and who it is that I’m actually showing people.

I wonder if am I generally the same person, a constant and stable personality or some inconsistent flake? Am I loyal? Am I like those gossipy, “two faced” people I despise? Am I a good daughter, a good friend, a good family member? Am I as fair as a human can possibly be? Do the people closest to me properly reflect who I am? Do the good things about me outweigh my weaknesses and negative qualities? I think these questions keep me in check… It’s like self therapy lol. I talk to enough people to know that many folks don’t have a real grip on reality; they aren’t very self aware, and they only think they are who the people around them tell them they are. They have bought into the hype that they are a good friend, cool, down to earth, balanced, and blah blah blah when in fact they aren’t really any of those things. The sheepish folks that fuel the fire play the most dangerous role in a human relationship, they are the quintessential “yes men” and a horrible emotional crutch. That’s what the guy on this reality show had, a bunch of people who told him how awesome he was when in all honesty he wasn’t very kind at all.

SO with that said… Who are you? Are you a consistent personality? Have you been “true blue” to your loved ones (or people in general) when their backs are turned? Who are you when no one is watching? And yes, reality can be what people perceive so if you act like a jerk 24/7 publicly but in the privacy of your own home save kittens and birds from God only knows what… chances are, folks think you’re evil and you might just be (just kidding kind of ) lol… It’s a bit muddy when it comes to personality conflicts like that but this is what today’s post is about. Which person are you really? Are you, majority of the time, a public jerkface pretending to be this sweet and caring saint or are you pretending to be the jerkface when you are actually a saint or something else? I mean the combo questions can go on and on and on! But I feel like, if you are a 90% terror for the majority of your day, who cares when you do one or two good deeds? Quit making excuses for bad behavior based off a small “good works done” percentage. And don’t expect for everyone to understand you are privately Mother Teresa or some other sensitive soul when in perceived reality, dealing with you is like chewing the outside shell of a pineapple.

DeAndre